he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
