Where is the hickey?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize