oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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