is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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