I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
