How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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