Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
