I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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