i would punch a child for taco bell
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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