My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Green mimosas i think yes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
