I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
