I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
