Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
