Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
