I accidentally burped into my bong.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize