YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
