You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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