Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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