i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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