you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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