I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
