I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
