He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
