It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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