Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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