You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
