i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
