So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
