Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
