I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
