I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
