a queef is a wish your heart makes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
