Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
