does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
