It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
