So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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