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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him

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• (716): View more from New York

  I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.

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• (925): View more from California

  I am no longer embarassed by my vagina

  (925): View more from California

  It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I don’t understand his energy

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  What? Nice? Lmao

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