I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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