we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
