I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
