I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
