I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish i was in the wii world.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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