No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize