Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
