she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
