My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
