just tell him i said nine months
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
