The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
