I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize