She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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