i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What drink are we having for lunch?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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