what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
