i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize