We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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