she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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