I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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