Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
