The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
