i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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